There are four other public bathrooms at Universal Epic Universe.
One is outside the park.
One is near Sensorium.
One is by Pizza Moon.
And one is tucked away in the back near Blue Dragon.
Four bathrooms. Four different locations.
And guess what?
They are practically identical.
Same entrance.
Same signs.
Same layout.
Same archway.
Same decorations.
There are a few teeny, tiny differences, but for the most part, these bathrooms are carbon copies of one another.
And I LOVE IT.
Yes. You read that correctly.
I am actually celebrating four bathrooms that look exactly alike.
Let me explain.
I have been in far too many situations where I desperately need to use the bathroom.
And I mean DESPERATELY.
I finally find the restroom entrance.
Wonderful!
Except now I have to figure out where the ladies' room is.
Is it on the left?
The right?
Around the corner?
Why am I walking in circles?
I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
And then, when I finally find the correct entrance, I have another problem.
Where are the toilets?
Why can't I see the stalls?
Why am I having to solve a mystery when all I want to do is pee?
But these Epic Universe bathrooms?
They have eliminated the mystery.
If you have been in one, you know exactly what to expect in the other three.
No searching.
No confusion.
No unnecessary panic.
Voilà!
Bathroom stress has vanished.
And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.
Now, let's talk about the actual bathrooms.
Three out of the four were clean and well maintained.
Unfortunately, the bathroom near Pizza Moon did not get the memo.
That bathroom desperately needed some attention.
It was dirty, and there were no paper towels anywhere except in the baby-changing area.
Not exactly what I want to discover when I am trying to wash my hands.
The air conditioning was adequate.
Not wonderfully cold.
Not miserably hot.
Just somewhere in the middle.
I wasn't sweating, but I certainly wasn't celebrating the temperature either.
The bathrooms themselves were large, with plenty of stalls to handle the Epic Universe crowds.
And I appreciate that.
Because nothing ruins a bathroom visit faster than a long line when you really, really have to go.
Now, some people might call these bathrooms boring.
And I understand that.
There are no dragons.
No monsters.
No magical surprises.
But I would argue that these aren't boring bathrooms. They are comforting bathrooms.
There is a difference.
These bathrooms are located in the general areas of Epic Universe, not inside the individually themed lands.
They don't need to tell a story.
They don't need fancy decorations.
They don't need to impress me with elaborate theming.
They just need to be easy to find, easy to navigate, and comfortable to use.
And for the most part, they accomplish exactly that.
Sometimes I want a bathroom that makes me stop and stare at the decorations.
And sometimes I just want to know where the toilet is.
Clearly, there is a time and place for both.
Final Verdict
For general theme park bathrooms, I am giving these four Epic Universe restrooms a solid B+.
They are spacious, predictable, and wonderfully easy to navigate.
I would have liked colder air conditioning, and the Pizza Moon bathroom definitely needs to improve its housekeeping.
But I genuinely appreciate the consistency.
I don't always need a bathroom adventure.
Sometimes I just need a bathroom.
And these four understand the assignment.
Clearly Maggie's Official Grade: B+
Not the most exciting bathrooms at Epic Universe.
But sometimes boring is exactly what my bladder needs.
